The ‘Doctor Who’ Emergency Fanw*nk Hotline Week 4: ‘Knock Knock’

Hello you. This article contains spoilers for ‘Knock Knock’.

“Spoilers for Knock Knock” was also a popular Edwardian euphemism, but not for what you’d expect.

So, assuming you have signal or still keep your landline handy, dial all the numbers and press the following buttons IN ACCORD WITH YOUR WHIMS:

 

Press 1 if you reckon those shutters must’ve provided amazing sound insulation.

Press 2 if you found the episode was gripping and involving and scary and funny, then it realised it was getting near the end and panicked a bit, and as such it was a perfect metaphor for student life.

Press 3 if you assume there was a point in this backstory where the son pretended to be his Dad by getting on stilts and speaking in a very deep big boy voice.

Press 4 if you are now incredibly wary of any children interested in entomology.

Press 5 if if you understand the concept of acting, but trusting David Suchet anymore is just a great big nope.

Press 6 if, tbh, you’ve had worse landlords than that.

Press 7 if you knew in advance that Harry was meant to be related to Harry Sullivan, and spent the entire episode examining his behaviour in detail for Harry Sullivan-ish qualities and kinda hoping someone would call him an imbecile.

Press 8 if you had no idea Harry was meant to be related to Harry Sullivan, or who the heck Harry Sullivan is, but you liked him out of Brummie solidarity.

Press 9 if this is you trying to explain your ‘Who’s in the vault?’ theories.

Gleefully mash the # button if you think that someone being turned into a tree, coupled with an appearance of Rani from The Sarah Jane Adventures mum, means the Rani is definitely in the vaults.

Furiously mash the * button if you think that someone being turned into a tree, coupled with an appearance of Rani from The Sarah Jane Adventures mum, means the Rani is definitely in the vaults but has clearly regenerated into John Simm.

 

Pre-order the new season on DVD on Amazon here.

Pre-order the new season on Blu-ray on Amazon here.

What did you think of ‘Knock Knock’? Let us know below…

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