Posts by: Andrew Blair

The ‘Doctor Who’ Emergency Fanw*nk Hotline Week 6: ‘Extremis’

So, it turns out this was nothing to do with Warren Ellis and Michelle Gomez gave a very restrained performance. One of these was more unexpected than the other. Consider your options, and then pick whichever one of these false realities most appeals to you: Press 1 if you weren’t expecting an episode based on...

The ‘Doctor Who’ Emergency Fanw*nk Hotline Week 5: ‘Oxygen’

On and on, and on, and on it goes. The world it just keeps spinning. Until I’m dizzy, time to breathe. So close my eyes and start again anew. No one here remembers Willy Mason do they? How about JJ72? Oh well, please yourselves. Ring up and press things as you wish…   Press 1...

The ‘Doctor Who’ Emergency Fanw*nk Hotline Week 4: ‘Knock Knock’

Hello you. This article contains spoilers for ‘Knock Knock’. “Spoilers for Knock Knock” was also a popular Edwardian euphemism, but not for what you’d expect. So, assuming you have signal or still keep your landline handy, dial all the numbers and press the following buttons IN ACCORD WITH YOUR WHIMS:   Press 1 if you...

The ‘Doctor Who’ Emergency Fanw*nk Hotline Week 3: ‘Thin Ice’

Hello you. This article contains spoilers for ‘Thin Ice’, and is comprised only of bad choices. To make one, simply act irrationally based on your hates and fears, or ring this imaginary hotline and press the number most suited to your query:   Press 1 if you spent this episode anticipating the Daily Mail haemorrhaging...